Questioning myself as my father continues to battle COVID-19
Not now. Why him? Why us? What do we need to do to fix this?
These questions run through my mind after getting an update on my dad's battle against COVID-19. With tears running down my cheeks, I question myself.
Everything was going well. He was headed in the right direction. The road to recovery had been positive since he was transported to a Corpus Christ hospital.
My 58-year-old dad has been in the hospital for more than a month. We had been receiving regular updates with good news. It gave us hope.
Then came the news that he’s had a setback. One of my dad's lungs collapsed and he's undergoing a risky procedure.
It's hard to know that my dad – who rarely gets sick - is not well. He’s a man who doesn't get bothered by much. He’s a hard-working person that has been confined to a hospital bed away from his family and all those who love him.
Gabriel Cantu Sr. comes from humble beginnings in Benavides. He has worked hard to give his family everything they need and want. My parents married young and will soon celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary.
Thinking back, maybe I should've hugged him more, kissed him more. Talked to him more. Went out on trips more. I don't like questioning myself or God. But I don't know what else to do.
How could this happen? Why did this happen? What do we do now? What do I tell myself?
Having faith is hard when we don't know what's happening. We can't see him, and he can't see us.
It's not his time and it's certainly not fair. How is it that he did what he needed to do to take care of himself and his family, but he is the one in the hospital suffering?
How is it that when I go places, I see people without masks? Some people still aren't paying attention to what's happening. The reality is that this is my dad's journey right now.
My dad is struggling to survive. Struggling to breathe, something we take for granted. I hope he knows that he's not alone and that we are praying for his speedy recovery.