It seems everyone has their hand out for the government expecting billions of dollars in bailouts these days. And why not? It seems pretty easy. Fly out in your corporate jet, put on a sad face, say pretty please and presto! - $5 billion just in time to celebrate at a plush resort.
But just when I thought I had seen it all, there is yet another group of individuals who may be poised to fly into D.C. seeking a bailout. It's not farmers, bankers or even energy corporations. Nope, it's the adult entertainment industry.
Pornography magnates claim video sales are down as much as 22 percent in these hard economic times. Is it the recession causing this, or is America becoming more moral? Unfortunately the answer to the second question is likely "no."
But with all kinds of garbage floating across the Internet, those with a penchant for the naughty aren't having to lay out dollars to get their kicks.
Why buy the cow right?
Larry Flynt, Hustler magazine publisher, has been quoted this week as saying, "With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."
Let's hope not. First off, there have been one too many stories showing just where some politicians' sexual preferences fall. I don't think I need their influence. Second, there are lots of politicians who have personally dedicated time and money to aid the adult entertainment industry, so it smacks a bit of double-dipping.
Just the thought of Flynt or “Girls Gone Wild” guru Joe Francis asking for a bailout from Capitol Hill brings up some questions, though.
Like, how does a porn magnate or porn star ask for a bailout exactly? How would that play out on Pennsylvania Avenue?
Does "Blondie Nastee" put on her Sunday best fish-net pantyhose, don a little extra perfume and eye liner and say in a husky voice, "Madam Speaker, I just can't make ends meet, what with no one buying my new videos. How am I ever going to be considered a 'serious' actress if no one sees my work?"
Or perhaps “Sin’dy DeVine” can testify to the late hours and bad pay she and the girls have to put in for one film. “Mr. Government man,” I can hear her pant, “all we are trying to do is cheer people up and help them forget about their problems. It’s really a form of public service.”
While I’m obviously poking fun and making light of this ridiculous request, Flynt apparently is quite serious - or is just making another one of many publicity stunts.
Maybe Flynt’s hoping President-elect Barack Obama’s plan to add 10,000 new jobs to the country will include the adult entertainment industry. I can see the help wanted ad now: “Help stimulate the economy, drop your top today. Some previous experience required.”
Or perhaps Francis just wants to make a new video, like “Girls Gone Wild on Capitol Hill.” In any case, there had been no Congressional response as of late Tuesday and all I can say is thank goodness. Such a bailout is not only unnecessary but immoral, too. While government spending is often wasteful, this type of bailout would be just downright offensive.